January 2010
23 posts
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S06E01 "LA X, Part 1"
I was going to do a predictions post for season 6, but I ended up watching the first hour of the premiere last night anyway. I couldn’t hear half the dialogue, but it was so worth it. If you don’t want to be spoiled, then stop reading. I will say that there were TWO shocking moments in the opening scene, neither one of which was in the leaked first four minutes.
Outside of Desmond...
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Why I'm A Feminist
On first glance, with all my jokes about domestic violence, forcing sex on slightly unwilling parties, and bad handjobs you may think I hate women. Wrong. Big fan. Even in my Dark Days where all women despised me I still was pro-women. I mean, I admire them for dealing with their vagina all the time. It’s so fucking confusing and fickle, like a wild cat. Also, I could never give birth....
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What's The Deal With Toasts?
Urbandictionary doesn’t have a definition for toasts, but if it did, it wouldn’t be positive.
I don’t know what the Toasts people are trying to pull on us. Maybe there are pro-Toasts lobbyists out there, like Anheuser-Busch is paying off Congress to keep anti-Toasts chatter down.
Why do we need to drink to things? I don’t get it. We all know you want to have a good year,...
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Spider-Dumb (Or: This Title Is As Dumb As This...
Sam Raimi’s one of my favorite directors, probably my favorite. You probably know him as the man who directed the good Spider-Man, which was a big part in making all the good comic book movies you see today, Spider-Man 2, which is now seen as one of the best movies of the decade, Spider-Man 3, an understandable misstep, and the more recent and spectacular Drag Me To Hell. Now, the Spider-Man...
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Good?
“Last September, Mr. Altman handed Ms. From an iPod Touch for her birthday. Engraved on the back was: “I love you. Will you marry me PLEASE?” At that, he dropped to one knee, pulled a ring from his pocket and proposed.”
(via)
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Why Handjobs Suck
As a kid, the handjob is really your goal in life. You don’t know what sex is, oral sex is something the bad kids do, and kissing is commonplace. You want to do something with your budding organs but don’t know what. Well, the handjob is about as simple as you can get.
I’ve always thought they were dumb (with one exception, which we’ll talk about below). Because what...
Once again, I don’t like to talk about me, but I’m issuing a proclamation. People (yes, people, as in plural) ask me why I don’t write here more, that they check it, wahwahwah. I think I should because it’s incredibly therapeutic for whatever silly issues I’ve created and it’s also constant preparation for my career. So if I’m not posting a lot of meaty...
Rogue went and saw a movie called Leap Year that looked terrible and she said was terrible, so I wanted to see what the consensus was. Rotten Tomatoes gives me:
Leap Year (1921)
and the amazing review,
It’s hard to make a connection with the outdated comedy.
Oh, why ever would it be outdated?
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FAIL.
jessicaeasteregg:
I’m normally not incompetent/clueless, but I have my slip ups.
Toast that has been cooked and toasted at a restaurant is probably not meant to be toasted, especially for five minutes. It leads to fire and a sparking toaster. And not knowing how to deal with said fire leads to calling 911, which leads to the fire truck coming to the house. Haha. But at least the fire fighters...
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Lost Facebooks. Impressive. →
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Who's the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who...
Chain messages have been a part of the Internet for some reason for a very long time. They’re not funny, they serve no purpose, but we all know this. (Also: why can’t they be not in all caps? Every one I’ve ever seen is all capped, has egregious grammar, and thus is really totally unbelievable. I bet if someone wrote like a real person then more people might say their...
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“That benefit was the worst show I ever did. Some of those heckles were really...”
– Jerry Seinfeld playing Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld’s “The Puffy Shirt,” maybe my favorite episode
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What's The Deal With Toast?
The top two definitions on Urbandictionary say:
Toast: Destroyed, terminated, ceased functioning, ended abruptedly by external forces
Dry Toast: dull, boring, WASP-y
Is that something you want to eat in the morning? Hey, we’ve all been tricked into thinking Toast is a crucial part of your breakfast. I’m a man of breakfast but Toast is just fucking playing us all. I wonder if Toast...
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I Made It Through The Rain
I don’t like to post about myself, and your regularly scheduled rants about minute societal observations will resume shortly. But I feel like I need to wave my own flag at least a little.
In December I was pretty fucking low. Not much was going right for me, final exams were nearing (not like I was studying or anything, but they were just an aggravation) and I didn’t see a bright...
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This gives me back some of my faith in humans... →
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Do You Really Love America, Or Are You Just Saying...
I love America (I think), and I’ve always been perturbed that many of the other peoples of the world have a bad view of us. After seeing things like this, I understand completely. That group is so completely fucking idiotic in every way. I’ve always had my American Voice, and American Voice always says, “This is AMERICA! We speak AMERICAN!” This is a little too close for...